By Alexandra Sumner

When discussing the idea of dating during law school, the question is not: “Should you date someone while in law school?” It’s: “Should you even date someone who’s in law school?” No, probably not.

Law students (myself included) have the tendency to believe the entire world revolves around their three-year degree and that everyone — including significant others — should bend themselves around our tight schedule because, “We have it harder than you.”

I’ve seen more than a few law school relationship articles which encourage the non-law student to “just be sensitive” and “don’t expect a lot from him [or her] because they’re under a lot of pressure.” Articles that admonish displeased partners for wanting more than a high-five and a Hot Pocket on date night. Blurbs that decry the selfishness and greed of these non-legal lovers; how can they not understand time and energy it takes to read for torts? Why can’t they just understand that he didn’t have the time to text you all week because he was in class?

Look at me: Because it is a lie.

As much as I am drawn to hyperbole, even I can admit that we aren’t kept prisoner in the classroom. Our cellphones aren’t taken away and our brains aren’t removed and steeped in elitism. We have the time to text you back; the truth is we choose not to.

You should never let your significant other get away with inconsiderate or offensive behavior just because he or she is in law school. You have every right to hold them accountable for their actions, and you shouldn’t look over numerous excuses and missed plans. We’re not dead, just busy.

Think of it this way: if you’re dating someone who is treating you poorly now, how will your relationship suffer after that person becomes an attorney? How can you foresee a future with someone who doesn’t consider you a priority, and whose life is only going to advance in responsibility and stress levels? If he doesn’t have time for you now, when will he?

I’m going to say the thing all law students fear being said: […]

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